"All who claim to be true leaders are tested. The test is not to destroy. The test is to prove. The moment you decide to step out in your gift, all hell breaks loose. The good news is Heaven breaks loose at the same time." - Dr. Myles Munroe
When I was 11 years old, my stepmother, Darlin, began training me for national leadership.
I didn't know it at the time, but she foresaw it and worked diligently to prepare me for this prophetic level.
Around the same age, I attended a youth conference in California. One of God's prophets delivered an encouraging and powerful message to us. And as is typical in any prophetic meeting, the messenger delivered a specific word to me.
"You're an Esther in the earth," he said.
I don't recall the rest of that message, but when Dad heard it, he held it closely to his heart, like Jacob did when Joseph shared his prophetic dream (Genesis 37).
For years, Dad reminded me of that Esther prophecy. Like Darlin, he knew my calling would place me in an elevated position to help bring deliverance to people.
Years later, back when I was 17, another prophet delivered a message to me as he preached a message at Dad's ministry; it confirmed what I had received years prior:
"One day, you're going to separate from your father's ministry and have one of your own. I see you in the heights of Washington D.C.," said that prophet. "The same way celebrities are known in Hollywood, that's how you'll be known in Washington D.C."
At the time, my sights were set on education. I loved teaching and had the natural gift to minister core principles or concepts to a particular group. I began teaching in my early teens to a group of Sunday school children, because I loved the profession that much.
So, when the second prophet's message first came to me more than 20 years ago, I had no idea it would bring me to this public political space. In fact, it saddened me a little because I never wanted to separate from Dad's ministry.
And yet, that prophetic word has not fallen to the ground.
Since launching my virtual ministry in 2016, my message and mission have remained steadfast. I told Beloveds that this work would focus on revival and reformation in our nation.
I did not compromise the principles or values I preach often in the Conscious Conservative Movement.
I made regular mention regarding the Source of my insight: the Holy Spirit.
And I held nothing back when it came to teaching my Beloveds how to access Heaven for themselves.
I purposed within my ministry to fulfill my core assignment, which is to train and equip the people -- like you, Beloved -- for the work of their ministry (Ephesians 4).
You see, inside each of us contains the power to lead or dominate in a respective field.
Inside each of us contains the power to bring life to those who are struggling.
I am well aware of my calling, my purpose, and my place in time and space.
I've learned through persecution and hardships how to remain steadfast and obedient to the Holy Spirit's instructions.
This journey was not easy. But I had a blueprint -- the Bible -- that contained numerous stories of other people whose hearts were consumed with zeal for God's Kingdom.
Jesus was and is my perfect example. The Scriptures teach, "Even though Jesus was God's Son, He learned obedience from the things He suffered" (Hebrews 5:8). In all my years in the faith, I've never experienced or felt the weight of this Scripture until I came into my calling at this national level.
The Holy Spirit and the Scriptures have been a tremendous source of encouragement to me. My understanding regarding spiritual matters and how they can be applied in our social, political, and economic spheres have deepened within me as I encountered new experiences.
But never have these principles been more applicable to me and my virtual ministry than when I am enduring public media smears.
When I experienced my first one back in 2010, it broke me. It literally killed my spirit, my mind, and almost my body. Were it not for the birth of my daughter, who was my only reason for living at the time, I surely would be dead today.
That smear resulted in 7 years of silence.
Prior to that, my voice was an active one in the public school system, demanding its leaders treat their students equally based on core standards. At the Fairfield-Suisun Unified School district where I worked, I raised hell about the unjust treatment given to Black students; but I also placed a demand on Black students to excel at all times.
My approach to teaching my kids during that time is exactly as folks receive today in Twitter Class.
I believed in my high school scholars as much as I believe in my Beloveds right now. I could see the hardest students -- the ones no one wanted to empower because of their past -- as positive agents of change if only they had one teacher who believed in their greatness.
My message and my mission have not changed since then, for I see the same potential in the people whom God has sent to my virtual ministry.
Look all around and you will see thousands of people connected to this work. You will see millions more who have heard this empowering message, because it has infiltrated mainstream conservative media.
No one can deny the works I've accomplished. No one can deny the signs or wonders that followed the teaching of my message; and that is the power of functioning with a Kingdom mindset.
Yet, it seems that this power has proven to be a threat to another kingdom, one that seeks to destroy the people and our communities.
I am aware of this dark kingdom, but are you?
I am aware of God's Kingdom power and authority, which He has given to His sons and daughters in the earth today, but are you?
I am aware of my spiritual lineage, which consists of men and women who performed great exploits because they knew their God, but are you?
I am aware of this Heavenly access and the laws that allow me to release blessings or curses when the people come against the work, but are you?
You see, I determined years ago that my virtual platform would remain empowering. I determined not to use this opportunity to swindle people like you, and instead teach you how to know God, how to hear His voice for yourself, and how to function in your grace with power and authority.
I made that choice back when I had only 20 followers.
I made that choice long before I had nearly 40,000 followers across my social media platforms.
I made that choice long before my FOX appearances or my New York Post article or any other mainstream source that has featured my message.
I made the choice not to use my presence as a method to destroy you, even when given the opportunity to do just that and to get paid handsomely to deceive you.
My convictions would not let me do that to you.
My morals would not allow me to treat you as dumb sheep that were incapable of great power.
My morals compelled me to practice the Ministry of Reconciliation, a core tenet of the Conscious Conservative Movement, which demands I see you through the eyes of the Spirit and not according to your past.
And yet, despite this daily empowerment, your moral high grounds have caused you to target me as a social degenerate in this political space, one deserving of your virtual lynchings.
Have You Learned Nothing?
This week, I endured another smear campaign on Twitter.
Unlike the previous ones, which came from the conservative base, this one emerged from my Progressive Black cousins who caught wind of my anti-Progressive message through my mainstream media breakout.
Progressive Blue Checkers went to war against me, pulling up decade's old articles about my case, which I successfully defeated, by the way.
You know, the one I told you about two years ago when I finally broke my silence and shared my story in To My Beloveds: A Memoir of My Personal Comeback in the Aftermath of My Scandalous Story.
Yes, that story!
And while I wish I could say their smear campaign fell flat, in truth, it worked because they demonstrated how well they can own a narrative and use it to crush you.
Yes, you read that correctly: to crush YOU!
Oh, Felecia, but this isn't about us! This is about you and you possibly lying to us all this time about your story!
No, Beloved, this smear was about YOU, because in all the time I have been with you to equip you for this battle, I held NOTHING back from you; and I still increased.
I endured YOUR smears and still increased.
I suffered YOUR condemnations and still increased.
I contended with YOUR backlash and still increased.
I know the power of persecution, but it seems you don't, despite me teaching you this lesson repeatedly.
And when the time was right, I dropped my story to YOU and provided evidence to support it.
Over time, you believed me because I taught you why no good fruit comes from a rotten tree.
I taught you that you cannot produce something empowering and positive from a leader whose heart is full of evil and lies.
It. Does. Not. Happen.
And the Scriptures prove this: "A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit" (Matthew 7:18).
But the second my Progressive Black cousins came through with THEIR smear campaign, YOU believed THEM!
Now you are questioning ME based on what THEY said to you.
And that's why this smear campaign worked!
I've been accurate 100% of the time in my message and this ministry, except in the case regarding my own story???
Over the last few days, I've felt something different about this smear.
It didn't hurt when I watched the Progressive Blue Checkers create threatening tweets, or when I read from the entertainment blogs as they lambasted me in their articles while mentioning my DAUGHTER'S name in their post.
I felt no sting ...
... that is until I watched those who had been affiliated with the Conscious Conservative Movement FOR YEARS turn on me.
These are the same people who WITNESSED the power coming from this virtual ministry on a daily basis.
These are the same people whose platforms were elevated as a result of my direct coaching and teaching PLUS the backing of this Movement.
These were the same ones whose minds had been completely changed as a result of the Kingdom message, which NO OTHER CONSERVATIVE VOICE PREACHED TO THEM EXCEPT ME.
And for the first time in years, I had to make hard decisions regarding this work's future, because the ones who should have been ready to combat Progressives instead BOWED THEIR KNEE as the smear popped off.
I had to ask myself, Do I continue this mission and invest in folks who were so willing to believe the opposition, DESPITE SEEING THE COURT DOCUMENTS IN THEIR FACE?
Or do I pivot, prune this Movement and its members, and make proper adjustments so this empowering message gets directly to the right people?
I chose the latter.
You see, what baffles me right now is how I could have been so accurate in my teachings, my insights, and my understanding regarding this conservative political space for years; but somehow I missed the mark in telling my own story that I lived.
I am baffled that I could accurately read what was going on miles away as politicians and pundits entertained discussions regarding election strategies; but somehow I missed the mark in telling my own story that I lived.
Remember back in 2019 and 2020 when I said, "Keep an eye on Kamala Harris. She will be the formidable force against Trump in 2020"? Remember when I said that and told you WHO gave me that insight?
And do you remember when that word was confirmed and you all looked foolish for dragging me about that message?
So, I'm baffled that I can be 100% accurate in telling you what's going on behind closed doors among people I have never spoken to in-person.
But somehow, some way, my accuracy falters when it comes to telling MY OWN STORY about my own personal experience in the public school system, WHICH NONE OF YOU WERE PRESENT TO PHYSICALLY WITNESS!
I am baffled by those in my circle who now say, "Something isn't looking right about what Felecia told me," when just months ago, you were on the other end of a smear campaign because of YOUR scandalous story ...
... a situation in which I defended YOU publicly based on what YOU told me!
I am baffled by some folks' willingness to turn so quickly against the one who invested in them when others worked so hard to destroy them.
More than that, I am baffled that those of you who have not a single ounce of legal expertise somehow have become Twitter's public legal experts on how the criminal justice system works!
Doesn't it stand to reason that if I was truly a whole menace to kids, NOT A SINGLE PROSECUTOR WOULD EVER WORK TO HELP ME GET THE CASE DISMISSED?
Did you even bother to consider that question?
Or did you even bother to think that in the criminal justice system, even after time is served, you still carry the mark of a felon ON YOUR RECORD?
Did you even bother to consider that question?
No, because you WANTED to believe the opposition.
Had you been an actual legal expert, you would know there is no such case in which someone automatically receives a dismissed case and a cleared record FOR SOMETHING AS HEINOUS AS RAPING CHILDREN!!!
You didn't consider that logic, because it was EASIER for you to believe the opposition.
And that has me baffled.
But you may say right now, "Oh, Felecia, but these folks are now saying there are statements from students!"
So, you're telling me that the police and the prosecution's office have so many statements from students about me abusing my kids, but they just decided to let a whole rapist go free???
And God the Holy Spirit, in all His infinite wisdom and righteousness, would allow such blasphemy to occur on a national platform???
In His name???
Do you not know the Lord and how He values His name???
His reputation means EVERYTHING to Him.
Furthermore -- for all you criminal justice reform keyboard warriors -- in what world does it EVER make sense for a Black woman to commit such heinous crimes against CHILDREN, and to have the criminal justice system let her go free when that system routinely profits from our incarceration???
Have you learned nothing???
Have my teachings all these years completely evaded you???
Have you reached that high moral ground to where you are now the experts and can tell me, THE WOMAN WHO WENT THROUGH THE EXPERIENCE, that I am lying???
The great irony about this smear is had I been on the Black Progressive side, my cousins would love me.
Oh, they would RELISH in my story, the whole story including my experience as one of two Black teachers in a predominantly White school.
They would prop me up on their high platforms as they became a champion for another Black woman who fought against White Supremacy in the education system, and then defeated White Supremacy in the criminal justice system.
My story is a hero's tale containing clear examples of racist treatment in the workforce.
My Black Progressive cousins would LOVE me, especially if I told them that the people who did not help me after knowing I was being threatened were WHITE!
Oh my! I can see it now, because I know how much they LOVE race stories. I know how much they HATE you for being conservative. I know how much they profit off your racist battering.
And right now, I could make a killing selling my story to them and giving them my full experience of working with you for years just to watch you get owned by their latest narrative.
But because I am a Black Conservative who went on mainstream media to tell you to build alliances with Black male voters, they targeted me.
But they didn't just hit me.
They hit YOU!
They have now enticed you to engage in conversations that have tainted your image of me ... for a story that happened A DECADE AGO!
They have enticed you with smooth words, because apparently THEIR "evidence" supports what you CHOOSE to believe now.
And yes, you are making a conscious decision to CHOOSE this pathway: to take out your own leader who gave you the empowering, Kingdom message when no one else took time to train you in this area; to take out a purely prophetic voice who brought you accurate insight and teachings on how to win ... EVERY DAY FOR 5 YEARS!
Yes, they hit YOU, and I am watching YOU take the bait.
Folks in my circle who understand how media work, how the criminal justice system works, and how smear campaigns get started ... they've been in my space to encourage me with strategies to handle this situation.
Because they KNOW the systems at play here.
But do you?
No, because you have made the choice to bite the bait! And now that poison has clouded your vision, causing you to look at me sideways.
You see, I thought I had taught these lessons to you about how these folks function; but apparently I must have failed in my delivery because it only took 24 hours to make you turn, despite you being a part of this ministry and Movement for YEARS!
I am witnessing how easily the enemy can SNATCH the empowering message from you the second you read something shady about me.
Where do we go from here? Because obviously mainstream media presence has broken your convictions.
I remember a core lesson Dad taught me years ago regarding leadership.
He told me that often times, when people get new titles or assume higher positions, pride sets in strongly. Suddenly, the principles that helped elevate them no longer seem useful now that they've made it.
And I have watched this play out over the last couple of weeks among some within my Movement's leadership circle.
I've had some contact me directly, basically asking me to compromise my convictions "so we can win elections."
I've had some contact me directly to get me to hold back the same fire that propelled this work into mainstream audiences.
Folks literally want me to compromise my convictions, confirm their biases regarding MY story, and play politics as usual because "that's how we win."
And I'm trying to figure out at what point did I ever say bowing my knee would hold any place here.
Why would I deny the Holy Spirit and His tenets for this Movement to do things YOUR way, when you have not produced significant results that empower our communities outside of this Movement's efforts?
You didn't get this on your own, but now suddenly your moral high ground has you thinking you can maintain this same momentum and force without the voice who delivers to you these teachings???
Oh yes! The smear campaign truly did work wonders.
Because I am asking myself, why is it that when some of YOU go through smear campaigns and need a source of protection and strength, YOU come to me and this Movement to provide it? Or when some of you needed answers to questions regarding this space, you turned to us to provide it AT NO CHARGE TO YOU.
It is clear: mainstream media presence has broken your convictions.
You have forgotten a core tenet of the Movement, which is to see people who have hard stories through the eyes of the Spirit.
That means evaluating their works RIGHT NOW and seeing if what they're doing is producing good fruit.
That means withholding your ignorant judgment and, at bare minimum, asking for wisdom to help you discern what is best for you and the people you want to serve.
That means refusing to hold people's past against them just because their stories are more controversial than yours.
That means not displaying your ignorance on the Bird App so boldly, and then having evidence smack you in the face that makes you look foolish among the people who once were open to hearing your message!
I can go down the long list of sins people like you commit TODAY -- like your gossip and slander -- and I can use that against you, too.
I could play your same games and risk the Law of Sowing and Reaping working against me.
But what good would that produce when I am trying DAILY to teach you how to do things a better way so we WIN!
It is clear to me: elevation is too much for you right now, and more developmental training is required before we EVER release new leaders into our communities.
If you pulled this stunt with me because Progressives ran an incomplete story about me, you will do greater damage to the people we would send you to, because their stories are even more scandalous than mine; and I will NOT have that.
My personal goal with this Movement was to PROVE to you that when we do things God's way, we get His results. I wanted to PROVE to you that no matter your story, God will use you to bring revival, reformation, and the renaissance to communities nationwide.
My life is LITERALLY a LIVING epistle, validating the principles I teach and demonstrating to you Kingdom power in the earth.
And this power is not based on word only, but full ACTION.
I did not hoard this power to myself, but I took time daily -- even while enduring YOUR smears -- to teach you how to walk in this might for yourself.
And now I have to make the hard decision of cutting some folks off to preserve the validity of this Movement.
I have no problem pulling away from mainstream media presence if it means keeping us from sinning against one another, because that is EXACTLY what we are doing right now.
And the people whom we are trying to reach ARE WATCHING US!
YOUR MAINSTREAM MEDIA CLOUT MEANS NOTHING TO ME!
And neither does your moral high ground.
I have told folks on Twitter to believe what they choose to believe; and now I am seeing EXACTLY how easy it is to convince you to turn.
I see how EASY it is to change your mind regarding this God-focused Movement, which you readily welcomed when it was convenient for you.
This tells me that this Movement and some of its members are NOT ready for national influence on a regular basis, because the second you receive it, you will violate the core tenets and use your presence against the people.
You won't practice the Law of the Ministry of Reconciliation, because you couldn't even practice it with the teacher who gave you the message!
You have shown others that when the fire is hot, YOU WILL BEND THE KNEE!
You have shown that you are no different than the people who pull up criminal records on folks who were killed by the state unjustly, just to justify their murder.
Your virtual lynching of me clearly proves you will do the same thing to people in these communities who have FAR WORSE STORIES THAN MINE!
All because you think more highly of yourself than you ought to.
Have you no redemption's message???
Have you no heart for the least of these???
Have I not told you, "In this last hour, God will use the LEAST OF THESE to carry out His assignment in the earth"???
Have I not said, "This end-time revival is not for the famous folks with squeaky clean records"???
How has the Kingdom message been snatched from you so quickly???
I am baffled by this current smear, not because Black Progressives did it, but because all the training I invested in you went straight down the hole the SECOND they came to my Twitter Class battlefield.
This Progressive smear provided YOU the opportunity to put a check on them for attempting to use my story as a deflection for their policies that destroy our nation.
BUT YOU CHOSE TO SIDE WITH THEIR SMEAR CAMPAIGN INSTEAD, thereby nullifying everything I taught you about defeating Progressives on the battlefield of ideas.
At this point, I realize the answers to my questions must come over time.
I'm not looking for anything from anyone except the practical application of the spiritual laws that govern our Conscious Conservative Movement.
I ask nothing except you present political competition to Black voters who are looking for viable options.
I ask nothing except you be to others what you want others to be to you.
Is this too much to ask of you?
Where I Go from Here
I've contemplated long and hard about which direction I will take regarding the work.
As for me, I will continue delivering teachings that empower rising leaders to manifest their greatness in the social, political, and economic spaces.
I will do so through my blog posts and podcast episodes, which will be posted here, inside our media network, and on my newsletter. I will share these posts with you on Twitter Class, but I will not give a single ear to your comments or pleas for help because you could not fight this one battle when presented with the opportunity.
I will continue my work of ministry with the single mothers, who are eternally grateful and thankful that someone cares enough to help them.
I will continue being a loving mother to my beautiful daughter.
I will keep building.
I will continue working with organizations behind the scenes to help them receive what they need to thrive.
I will continue living.
My work and earthly contributions are not based on whether or not YOU believe in me.
I walk by faith and not by sight.
I will remain Kingdom-minded, which is necessary at the moment to keep me from cursing you.
And I will continue believing that one day, the vision and message I preach will inspire 10,000,000 people to raise the standard that will shift our nation.
I will continue inspiring men and women to write their stories and to use them to empower others. NO ONE should ever feel they have to hide in their caves and neglect their divine calling all because they have a hard truth.
I will continue my work because I am eternally grateful to the Holy Spirit for delivering me from a system that you clearly wanted to crush me.
I will continue training the Movement's members to carry the vision for generations to come.
But if you are a member, and you cannot apply the core tenets of our Movement to every single person who comes your way, I will cut you off.
The principles matter that much to me.
Our communities matter that much to me.
The mission matters that much to me.
And I am willing to shut this Movement down if I ever see its leaders use their prominence and influence against the people.
Again, your conservative clout means nothing to me.
Neither do your smears.
I know EXACTLY who I am, and I know the One who sent me.
My loyalty remains steadfast with the Holy Spirit. I will not deny Him publicly, and I will not reject His principles, which brought us to this mainstream place.
I am thoroughly convinced that this work will continue accomplishing great wonders in this nation.
But we will not succeed unless we remember to stay fixed and focused on doing things God's way.
With that said, I love you, Beloveds, even when I'm angry. My passion comes from my desire to see you prosper and win.
I wish you well.
And as always, let's grow together!
- Coach Felecia
To my Progressive Black cousins and their White Liberal agents who launched this latest smear: I look forward to seeing you on the battlefield of ideas right in front of Black audiences on my stage.
My squad stays ready.
It is still Progressivism vs. Conservatism.
And we will win.
About Felecia Killings