How to Truly Know You Have Forgiven Someone of Their Offenses Against You

I remember some years ago, sitting in Dad’s church, listening to Darlin (my stepmother) deliver a powerful teaching to the congregation.

​She briefly exhorted on the power of forgiveness and how we can know for certainty when we have accomplished what often seems like an insurmountable feat.

Forgiving people who hurt us is often the most challenging task because our human, carnal mind equates forgiveness with giving the offender a pass to offend us again. In other words, many of us hold onto grudges as a defense mechanism; and when spiritual leaders tell us to forgive those who harmed us, we take their wisdom the wrong way. We assume they want us to allow offenders to perpetually harm us as a sign of “spiritual growth and maturity.”

As I listened to Darlin’s forgiveness message, I could feel anxiety rising within me. At the time, I had just left a tumultuous, abusive marriage and had recently won a criminal case that nearly broke my heart, my spirit, and my bank account. Everything around me screamed, “None of these people deserve your forgiveness, just your wrath.” Yet here I was, listening to Darlin deliver this timely word.

​As she continued teaching, she gave clarity to what we know from Scripture as forgiving a person “70 times 7.” In practical terms, this means each time we are reminded of the offense against us, we are to forgive or “baptize the situation” in God’s grace, releasing the offense so it no longer causes us mental, spiritual, and physical damage. Darlin further added, “When you no longer feel the offense as the issue comes to your remembrance, that’s when you know you have truly forgiven someone.”

That small detail jolted my spirit as I sat there listening to God speak to me through her message. If I could get to the point where the memory of the offensive events no longer caused anxiety, fear, worry, or extreme anger in me, then I knew those events were forgiven and they would no longer have a hold on me.

In Joseph Murphy’s book, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, he alludes to the “acid test for forgiveness” to illustrate the power of forgiveness and how to know when it has truly manifested in your heart.

He wrote:

There is an acid test for gold. There is also an acid test for forgiveness. If I should tell you something wonderful about someone who has wronged you, cheated you, or defrauded you, and you sizzled at hearing the good news about this person, the roots of hatred would still be in your subconscious mind, playing havoc with you.

​In other words, as long as your heart (or subconscious mind) triggers hatred towards a person when his or her name is mentioned, this means you have not truly forgiven the individual and the offense. This means you hate them, and according to the Ancient Texts, “to hate is akin to murder” (1 John 3:15).

Murphy continued:

Let us suppose you had a painful abscess on your jaw a year ago, and you told me about it, I would casually ask you if you had any pain now. You would automatically say, ‘Of course not, I have memory of it but no pain.’ That is the whole story. You may have a memory of the incident but no sting or hurt anymore. This is the acid test, and you must meet it psychologically and spiritually, otherwise, you are simply deceiving yourself and not practicing the true art of forgiveness.

​Said another way, you haven’t forgiven the offender and his offense until there is no psychological or spiritual pain felt when you hear that person’s name.

Over the years, I have learned how to reach this point in my life. Today, the events I encountered years ago no longer trigger hatred in my heart. I can speak freely about certain moments in my life that brought me to this public space without feeling any hatred. I can hear a person’s name and know for certainty God the Holy Spirit is handling matters on my behalf. I can teach and coach rising leaders how to walk in power with integrity and conviction, because I have traveled their roads before them. And today, my heart is opened to pure love and is prepared to be wedded to a man who knows how to love me as purely as I love him.

I am a different woman today because I’ve learned to master the Law of Forgiveness. I do not feel helpless or hapless after practicing this Law either. In fact, my faith is stronger, I walk with greater conviction, and I trust God’s laws to do for me what I could never do for myself. They protect me, they shield me from harm and danger, and they ensure no person feels comfortable harassing me again. The laws of God are perfect in their execution, but they require total faith and compliance on our part.

Today, Beloved, I invite you to put into practice this Law of Forgiveness. As we commemorate what Jesus did for us by redeeming us back to our Heavenly Father, let us not lose sight of the greater teachings he delivered during his earthly ministry. If we desire to walk in oneness with God, we must learn to do things God’s way. Just as we do not want God to cringe at the thought of hearing our name brought before Him, let us remember to release people of their offenses. This is the perfect will of God concerning His Children, for He desires for us to walk in health, healing, wholeness, and prosperity all the days of our lives.

Today, consider your “acid test of forgiveness.” Do the memories of the person who harmed you still plague your mind, or have you released them so you are free to live in peace and harmony?

Until next time, Beloved, be blessed.

And as always, let’s grow together!

Coach Felecia Killings

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E-book | The Power of Forgiveness: A 7-Day Challenge to Heal Your Heart, Mind, and Body Using the Law of Forgiveness by Joseph Murphy and Coach Felecia Killings

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"Forgiveness of others is essential to mental peace and radiant health. You must forgive everyone who has ever hurt you if you want perfect health and happiness." - Joseph Murphy

Bitterness is cancerous to the bones. A mind not at ease causes a diseased body. But what happens when you shift your mind and apply God's laws to your life? Do they have the power to bring healing to you so you live a long and prosperous life?

In this empowering resource, you will learn the power of forgiveness and how it can release healing to you. This e-book contains a 15-minute reading guide that pulls from the ancient wisdom of Joseph Murphy, author of The Power of Your Subconscious Mind. His chapter on "How to Use Your Subconscious for Forgiveness" will show you the correlation between bitterness and physical ailments and why it is imperative that we learn to forgive others and ourselves so we walk in perfect peace.

Following Murphy's teaching, you will engage in Coach Felecia's interactive workbook that contains 60-minute actionable lessons over a 7-day period to help put into motion healing for your heart, mind, and body using the Law of Forgiveness.

Learn how to renew your strength, how to walk in love and peace, and how to experience health and wholeness so you fulfill your purpose and live life to the fullest.

Book Details

• Book length: 36 pages
• Language: English
• Publication date: April 16, 2025
• Dimensions: 8.5 x 11 inches
• Deliverable formats: PDF print and PPTX (Microsoft Power Point)
• Delivery timeline: Instant download sent to your email
• Publisher: The Felecia Killings Foundation

About the Author

​​Felecia Killings is the Founder and CEO of The Felecia Killings Foundation, a Conscious Conservative think tank and coaching organization that trains rising leaders for full activation in the social, political, and economic spheres. Through her training hosted on her website, her podcast, her leadership network, her social media platforms, her books, and her annual leadership convention, she equips leaders with spiritual and practical tools that help them bring revival and reformation to the communities they serve.

Felecia Killings is also the Chief Editor of Coach Felecia Killings Omnimedia, a best-selling author, award-winning coach, ordained minister, and communications specialist with 10+ years of experience working in media relations, publishing, and editorial development. Her keen insight has helped leaders and organizations reach millions of people with their vision, mission, brand, and core message using the power of the written and spoken word.

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